Noooooooooo

It's been a while, dear readers, and I apologize profusely for that. But I am back momentarily to give you this comic fodder from OkCupid.

My OkCupid profile images have got me in Target wearing multiple superhero masks. It shows a side of me that is playful and many men like it as I get many comments on it. Take this picture of me as Darth Vader Sith Lord for example...



This is the message I got this weekend and my response...



He has yet to respond.

It isn't just the boys

How to get someone to respond to your email.

 It isn't just the boys that need to learn the lesson, it is the girls, too.  Case in point, shortcuite28304 (I am guessing that 28304 is her zip code and a quick Google search proves me correct) sent me this.

OK, I posted the picture.  I know what is in the picture.  I don't need someone to point it out in the first email.  It is just as bad as the men sending an email that just says "hi" or "nice boobs".  Send me something clever that can be built on!  Something that piques my interest that makes me hit "reply"!

Like this, sent later today.

Well done.  She got a reply!  Miss Shorty from Fayetteville above did not.

Also, take a look at the match rates above.  Miss Shorty is a mere 54% while Miss Frisco is 80%.  Just looking at her profile pictures and you can see why Miss Shorty is such a low match - she is sporting classic southern rebel flag tattoos - she may be open minded enough to like girls, but those girls had better be southern, white, and racist, too.  I guess she didn't bother reading my profile - another one who couldn't get past my boobs.  Another one who succumbed to the premature ejaculation of online dating.  Wow.  I never thought I would be able to say that about a girl.  Bucket List!!!!!!

And then this #datingloser messaged me while typing this so I had to round out this post with a typical dating loser boy who just doesn't know how to talk to girls.  This is what NOT to say if you want a reply, readers.

Naming Calling

OK, Loser,  just because I don't respond to your message you think that calling me a name is going to make me click "reply".  No, it is going to make me do a screen capture so I can share this with the internet, you #datingloser.

You might know the uses of to, too, and two.....

But the rest of your grammar is killing me.


It took me a few days to even write this post as this guy is such a dating loser. The fact that this is the first message I saw from him really confused me. The fact that it was loaded with punctuation and capitalization errors just made my blood boil. So then I read his first message and got really confused by his picture. It only showed half of his face and his yellow shirt was very unbecoming. So I check out his profile.

Readers, you are not going to believe this, but he has two pictures on his profile. Both are showing half his face.

This can only lead me to believe one thing - he does not have the top half of his head.

So I read his profile.  It seems to me that he is one of those "men" (quotes as I have to use the term loosely) that insists he knows how to be with a woman.  He mentions "pleasure" 5 times in his very short profile.  I remember dating a guy once who swore he was a "pleasure-pleasure type of guy and not a pleasure-pain type of guy". I had to remind him that what he was doing to me was not pleasureful as I always had to find means to pleasure myself once he was done "pleasuring" me.

The profile is very boring.  The only other thing that is worth mentioning about his profile is that he is looking for females aged 19-76.  Desperation is a horrible thing.

Are  you looking for a man with half a face that really knows how to pleasure a woman?  Contact this #datingloser today!!!

Just can't take a hint

You would think he wouldn't have replied back.

Reminds me of a message on pof where the guy's main image was of two people, one really cute guy and one not so cute guy. After asking the guy which one he was I asked him if his cute friend was single. He never replied.

"Hey, do you mind if I put this image of us together up on a dating site? I get more hits because you're cute and girls think that I'm you."

Just as bad as posting images of you and your kids on dating websites. I just think it is in poor taste.

Or images of you at a wedding. Sometimes it is even their own wedding. Red flags get thrown up every time I see that.

Danger, Will Robinson!

SquareLevel or just SQUARE?

Got this message the other night on OKC, so I go to check out his profile.  Didn't see anything that caught my eye, other than him saying that he adapts to his partner - all the time.  So I don't respond.  A few minutes later I got this message:

Just because I didn't respond to his message after viewing his profile, he immediately "adapts", changes his profile, and messages me again, hoping to get a response.  

UH, NO.

What ever happened to being yourself, and embracing the differences in those you hang out with?  Is the real you so bad that you feel the need to change your personality with every person you meet?  You are not the type of person for me.

Punctuation is key