Monday, December 16, 2013

The Back Story

I have been on dating websites for years. I first joined because my mother didn't like the guy I was dating and told me join eHarmony as she had a bit of "luck" on it. I checked out eHarmony, thought it was a complete joke, an overpriced joke, and joined OKCupid instead. Even when I was dating someone, seriously dating someone, I never took down my profile. I didn't see a point in taking it down. I seem to be a "User Friendly" type of girl. Also, OKCupid is also a great website for their questions, quizzes, and finding your friends on it. I have several happily married/taken friends who are on there just for that reason. I have met several people from the site in person - became good friends with them.

So, a bit about what my profile says I want - NOT looking for love/relationship, NOT into babymamadrama/kids, Lover of tacos (duh), bowling, music, geeky, nerdy.

My favorite line on my OKC profile?

"I am NOT looking for "Love" - Gross, fuck that emotional bullshit. "

OKC is also really awesome because the questions help find possible matches. I read these questions/answers often to get a feel of the person. I have several questions where certain answers are mandatory, and I really cannot hangout or even relate to people who answer these questions in a different way than I do. Why would I want to hang out with someone whose core values are completely opposite of mine?

Have I mentioned that a lot of the people I used to date are on OKC? The questions are really awesome on these occasions as you can see why I didn't date them very long. In these cases, OKC was not around when I dated them.

Oh, another important note about my profile - I am about 40, looking for Everybody aged 30-45, I don't want kids ever and nothing is going to make me change my mind, I have cats, need someone intelligent to hang out with (usually a spelling/grammar nazi, as this was how I was raised), and like people with an edge.  

I look really young for my age, at most times people still guess me at being in my late 20s.  I look for people who are about my age, or so, but also look young, as I don't want to look like I am dating a pedophile.  

I am very honest in my profile, and feel that others should be, too.  I know this is hard to find in this day and age on the internet, but a girl can still hope, right?

OKC is not usually a place for "dating losers", but it does have its moments.  Especially lately. 

After my "lease" with my last boyfriend ended I decided to broaden my online dating horizons and joined Plenty of Fish.  Oh.My.Goodness.  This site is an OCEAN (see what I did there) of losers.  I have had so much fun on this site, treating men like shit, and they keep coming back for more.  I need to start charging for this service, seriously.  I should note here, as I do on the POF profile, that I am nice on OKC, and mean on POF.

My profile:
"I am busy.
I DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP. If you are looking for a relationship MOVE ALONG.

I am a free spirit. I want to meet people to hang out with, have an occasional beer with, maybe even watch a movie with. Take what you will of that comment, I know what it means.
I am picky. I look way younger than I am, so you should, too. A couple of greys is OK. A head full of white? Frack no.

I like Rock Stars. I like hot guys with an edge. Big fan of tattoos and piercings, but it isn't a must. All this to hang out? Yeah.
Not typically into white guys, or black guys. I prefer those of a yellow decent. There are always exceptions, though. Also SO NOT into guys with kids and babymammas.

If I don't respond to your email then I am not interested. It could be your picture, your profile, or maybe even your lack of grammar. There is this tool out there called "Word". Type your message or profile in there first, see the corrections light up, fix them, then copy and paste here. You obviously don't read this, so let me clarify. I like it when people use proper grammar and spelling. I don't have time to decipher your "typing shortcuts" to figure out what you are saying. So, when I see this in a message, I am either going to make fun of you, or ignore you. Neither is done in a flirty manner.
Have I mentioned that I am busy? Hoping it will all slow down one day, maybe. Yeah, right. My job takes most of my time two weeks of the month. 
If you can't tell, I have a wicked sense of humor, and an evil side. I smile on occasion, although it is crooked. 
I have a nicer profile on OKC. Same name. Check it out.

Oh, and I am pretty f*u*c*king awesome. ;) "

To the point.  

This is the site where I get most of the fodder.  I post them on G+ when they are really amusing, and +ronnietucker keeps telling me to start a website for it.  This will have to do for now.

POF has many flaws.  Flaw number one: it is a meat market/hookup website that people go to looking for relationships.  I don't believe they are looking for relationships, I think this is a ruse to get into girls' pants.  Be honest, guys, it works much better.  Flaw number two:  There is no awesome science in the background to create matches.  It claims there is, but I have yet to see it.  When you sign on, the site shows you who is online at that moment, and that is when you get messages.  You rarely get random messages from prospective matches if you haven't signed on in the last day.

While I have met several people in person that I met on OKC, I have yet to meet any that I met through POF.  There was one guy that was on both sites that I met in person, but I met him first on OKC.  POF and OKC have completely different calibers of people.  I think that is one reason I am mean on one site and nice on the other.  I do want to be mean on OKC at times, because people really do piss me off, but I won't do it.  The most I will do there is tell a man who is cheating on his wife that he needs to be honest with her and offer an open relationship rather than going behind her back and being a dick about it.  This remark ends conversations fast, but I think it is completely warranted.

So, this is the background on my dating losers.  Men message me on these sites without reading my profile, and I make fun of them.  I hope you enjoy your time here.


  1. You like men 30-45? Well hello-ooooo baby. This is your lucky day! :D